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Why do Love Languages Matter & How to Identify them? (Part 2)


It is important to remember that receiving love in one’s preferred love language is always appreciated. If we understand and express love in our partner’s preferred love languages, they will most likely feel appreciated, and loved and ultimately feel much happier and satisfied in the relationship.
Love languages might not be the same for both individuals

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

2. PHYSICAL TOUCH

3. QUALITY TIME

4. GIFTS

5. ACTS OF SERVICE

WHY DO THESE LOVE LANGUAGES MATTER?

Now that we know about the five love languages, it is important to remember that receiving love in one’s preferred love language is always appreciated. Though the importance is not evident when we are happy with our lives and our emotional tank is fully filled with love, its importance begins to become more and more evident as we face more and more difficulties in our lives and in our relationships. Understanding and learning to use these love languages during conflicts, can help in handling and resolving the conflicts better and eventually have a meaningful impact on your relationship. Thus, if we understand and express love in our partner’s preferred love languages, they will most likely feel appreciated, and loved and ultimately feel much happier and satisfied in the relationship.

HOW DO YOU IDENTIFY YOUR PARTNER'S PRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE?

There are a few ways to identify the primary love language of your partner. Some of these are:-

  • This might sound very easy but it doesn't come out as easily as it may sound. Ask your partner questions about what makes them “feel loved”. You can ask questions related to all 5 love languages and identify your partner’s primary language.

  • Notice how they express their love to you! Often, people express their love in the manner that they actually want to receive love in. So, observe how your partner expresses their love to you the next time, as that might be a hint about your partner’s primary love language.

  • Notice what your partner complains about the most during conflicts. Our partners often tell us about their preferences, at times directly and at most times indirectly during conflicts. All you have to do is, observe what they say more carefully and identify what exactly they want.

  • Another way to identify your and your partner’s primary love language may be by taking this short love language quiz.


While identifying the primary love language, one should remember that all love languages are important, but your partner may give more importance to one or two languages. The language that will be the most important to your partner, will be their primary love language. There is also a probability (not necessarily), that their primary love language may change over a period of time. It is for this reason that it is recommended to observe and ask your partner to know about their primary love language at different times. Once, both partners start understanding and expressing love in each other’s preferred love languages, they will make their relationship much more fulfilling, satisfying, and cheerful and find each other deeper in love with one another.

Love languages might change over time with people having several experiences throughout their lifetime. One thing that remains all through is the effort to speak that language and express it to the other person. We, at MentAmigo, understand this and therefore provide you with a safe, non-judgmental space to express to each other your love languages. With the help of couple sessions with our therapists, you can understand your and your partner's love language in order to strengthen the relationship.

 


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