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Falling Out of Love

Falling in love is a beautiful process, the fulfillment of a need to feel complimented by someone. It is a natural phenomenon, you don’t have to force yourself to love someone, and you don’t have to think about someone all the time, it just happens on its own.

There's a saying that goes, “Falling in love is less of a process than falling out” and I think it makes a lot of sense. Falling out of love is as natural as falling in love is but the acceptance of the former is too difficult. More often than not, one can not fathom the fact that they are no longer in love with someone who was so dear to them. Just imagine, you have been living with your ‘soulmate’, everything has been going well, and you’re in your happily ever after zone but gradually, you start falling out of love (we’ll explain the signs moving further in the article). The romance that was fizzling out has fizzled out, love is now looking like a forced expression, something that we have to experience not something that we naturally experience. But, how is that even possible? You still love them, right? Just that there are some differences that will eventually be resolved. Maybe, or maybe not, let’s find out.


Signs of Falling Out of Love -


1. You Feel Strong Resentment Against Your Partner

The feelings of bitterness after being treated poorly. Resentment is usually about incidents in the past. It starts slowly but letting it simmer without considering the need to talk about the root cause of it all shows a lot of indifference to the relationship and you start resenting your partner for past incidents that some time ago seemed to have been resolved.


2. You Choose To Be In The Relationship For Your Partner

You’re carrying on in the relationship not because you want to but because either they are showing a toxic dependence trait or you don’t want them to feel bad about getting out of the relationship. You start avoiding your partner, staying late at work, and/or making plans with others to stay away from your partner. When a situation like this arises, wherein you are with your partner only because they would want you to be there for whatever reasons there are, think about what falling out of love means.


3. You Don’t Want To Spend Quality Time

Two people who seemed inseparable some time back no longer look forward to evening conversations after a hectic day of work? It is okay to spend quality time with other people and give space to your partner. But, if you find yourself making plans without them more often and getting anxious about the dinner you had to plan with them, it may be an indication of avoidance. It isn't an invalid feeling but at the same time, you need to understand the reasons behind the feeling entailing your partner’s presence.


4. You Don’t Envision A Future With Your Partner

When you start imagining a future but your partner is not there in it and it seems much better than the current scenario with your partner, it might need more attention than it seems. If you feel trapped, controlled, unhappy or any such feelings when thinking about a future with your current partner, some serious communication is required. While it may not always be a sign of falling out of love, it might as well be one considering the feelings fading out and lack of communication.


5. Your Priorities Have Changed

You no longer worry as much for your partner as you used to and many other things have taken the priority position once held by your partner. While it is important to give your partner the healthy space they deserve, if that is something that makes you indifferent towards them and you don’t worry about them at all, it might be an indication that it isn’t the same anymore and that you probably are no longer in love.


6. You Choose Silence Over Communication

None of us wants to argue with our partners. Having said that, it is also important for you to understand that arguments or standing up for yourself in a relationship is also a form of communication with a healthy conflict management system in place. If you aren’t arguing, is it because you don’t care any longer or have given up on the relationship? If these are the reasons behind your silence over your disagreements, it might mean you are distancing yourself from your partner.


These are a few of many other signs that can tell us if we are falling out of love. But, is it that easy to fall out of love with someone whom you wanted to spend your lifetime with, your ‘soulmate, your happily ever after’? To be honest, yes, it is. But, that doesn’t mean it is easy to accept as easy as it is to accept falling in love. It is not your fault though. While you never intended to fall out of love, it happened, as naturally as you fell in love. It is very difficult to accept that you have fallen out of love because you still care, it’s just that you aren’t spending as much time with them as you used to or aren’t as concerned or worried about them as you used to be, but does that mean you really love them? “How can I not love someone I chose for myself some time ago, someone I had thought of my happily ever after with?” The pressure to fall in the category of ‘happily ever after’ or ‘soulmates’ or ‘lifetime partner’ is so high that you don’t look beyond that. That is also a reason why it is difficult to accept falling out of love. Like I said in the beginning, “Falling in love is less of a process than falling out”.


However, the fire can be rekindled, provided you want to rekindle the fire, there is the zeal to carry forward and not just carry on with the relationship.



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